Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Vampires and Witches and Weres, Oh My!

I am rewriting Kara's story. The title of this post is what I'm considering calling the story. I'll share a little bit of what I've rewritten now. Hope you guys like it!


My name is Kara Silverstone. Together with my partner Terrence Wright, I help keep the streets of Dallas, Texas safe. We work for the Dallas Police Department, Supernatural office, Heinous Crimes division. As the name implies, we handle the most heinous of supernatural crimes. See, a long time ago, before I was ever even thought of, people thought supernatural beings were just characters of myth and legend, but when the third world war broke out the supernatural community sent out a group of their elite to protect the world from China's mistakes; a race of highly unstable genetically altered super soldiers created by mixing the blood of all three supernatural races; witches, wereanimals, and vampires. The soldiers became unstable because there are certain types of wereanimal blood that can't be mixed with the other races.

After those supernaturals saved the world, the government tried to cover up China's stupidity and the fact that supernatural beings existed, but the majority of the supernatural community was tired of living in secret while being the government's secret weapons. After the threat of a supernatural revolt, it was announced to the world that vampires, witches, and wereanimals were real and not just characters of myth and legend. Hate groups formed almost over night. In the beginning there were several small groups that were easy to handle, but then they formed two large groups. Humans Against Supernaturals, HAS for short, is the "human rights" group, they obviously are pro-human, which normally would be fine, but they also want to eradicate anything and everything that is not 100% human. Then, of course, we have the group Superior Supernaturals. They call themselves the SS. They think of themselves as the superior race and believe anything that isn't supernatural should be destroyed to make room for the "superior races". Members of the SS view humans as vermin. They feed on them, do experiments on them, and generally terrorize them.

I joined the Supernatural office when I was twenty, after my parents were murdered by members of HAS. The SS tried to recruit me and I briefly considered joining their ranks but I quickly realized that joining the SS was no way to get justice for what happened to my family. I went through the classes necessary to join the police force, then I went through the rigorous tests necessary to join the Supernatural office. They partnered me with Terrence and we've not been separated in the five years I've been on the squad. Terrence is five years my senior. He towers over me at 6'2", has shoulders as broad as I am tall, and has the most calming smile I've ever seen. His yellow green eyes, striking next to his mulatto colored skin, are the first thing you notice on him. When I first started working with him I questioned my own beauty. I felt inadequate next to his exotic looks. I am 5'4", I have long naturally straight dark auburn hair, blue eyes, and weigh 120 pounds. Of course, the more I got used to Terrence, the more comfortable I got with my own looks around him. I guess that's the curse of the werewolf, the heart stopping good looks, or maybe that's a blessing.

I think I'm going to end this here, but I want your advice. Should I end the prologue here and go back to the case that Kara and Terrence were about to start on when I first started writing this story, or do you feel like there should be more information? I personally feel I should end the prologue here and start with the case, but I'm worried that this might be an awkward ending for the prologue ... then again, I'm also afraid if I continue with the prologue any further it will seem forced and sound terrible. What are your thoughts?


  1. I love this prologue! Hmmm...I don't think it should be drug out much further, but maybe a little blurb something along the lines of "things had been calm for a while blahblahblah .... little intro to the fact that somethings happened" or something along those lines if you want it to melt more into the beginning of the first chapter. If not, it sounds fine ending it how it is!

  2. I agree with SilverFox. It sounds great on its own but to make a smoother transition into the first chapter you might want to add something. I can even see it like this, "so that's where I come in. I investigate and put to justice the one's responsible." Of course it's just an idea and either way it sounds great! :)